Hey dudes,
before I tell you how my feelings about my future are ,it's important to know that i feel terible !I'm a teenager but not a lovly father!What I did? In case of asking me whether I rued it...YES and I would do everything to make it unforgotten!!!However I can't change this situation. I try to do the best out off it, if this is possible!And I hope that my emotions for Alica come back,because I can not survive the following years without LOVE!Before saying you more I must get along with myself!And I mean MYSELF because TH isn't in my room anymore !!See you soon!..... Sammy
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Saturday, 26 September 2009
I love alica....I don't love Alica.. I love.......
Hey fans (:D)
Today I want to tell you something about my relationship with Alica!The first weeks were great and I enjoyed the time with her!(Also because of the sex),and I really thought that I "LOVE" her!!After 3 weeks I had another opinion!I get borded of Alica,because we just have sex and don't do something else. At the beginning this wasn't a problem for me because I was content just having sex!However, a relationship is more than sleeping with each other!You should help your partner if he/she has problems,respect your partner,support him/her and the most inportant thing is TALKING!!These very important things were missing in our relationship!It was onesided and I didin't know what to do !That was the reason why I didn't visit Alica every day because I hoped it would be better...
Another problem was,Alica wanted to control me,to give up skating mates, my whole "old" life !It was right, I wanted to have a girlfriend who sleeps with me but I also wanted living as well!Should I focus my whole life only on Alica !?NOO, that isn't my definition about life!!And she had to notice it!!Finally I played with the thought to break up !Although I could not leave her,MAYBE SHE WILL GET A BABY FROM ME AND I DON'T WANT THAT THIS CHILD HAS THE SAME DESTINY LIKE ME!!!What should I do ??? I talked to TH but he could't help me, too!
Sammy
Today I want to tell you something about my relationship with Alica!The first weeks were great and I enjoyed the time with her!(Also because of the sex),and I really thought that I "LOVE" her!!After 3 weeks I had another opinion!I get borded of Alica,because we just have sex and don't do something else. At the beginning this wasn't a problem for me because I was content just having sex!However, a relationship is more than sleeping with each other!You should help your partner if he/she has problems,respect your partner,support him/her and the most inportant thing is TALKING!!These very important things were missing in our relationship!It was onesided and I didin't know what to do !That was the reason why I didn't visit Alica every day because I hoped it would be better...
Another problem was,Alica wanted to control me,to give up skating mates, my whole "old" life !It was right, I wanted to have a girlfriend who sleeps with me but I also wanted living as well!Should I focus my whole life only on Alica !?NOO, that isn't my definition about life!!And she had to notice it!!Finally I played with the thought to break up !Although I could not leave her,MAYBE SHE WILL GET A BABY FROM ME AND I DON'T WANT THAT THIS CHILD HAS THE SAME DESTINY LIKE ME!!!What should I do ??? I talked to TH but he could't help me, too!
Sammy
Sunday, 20 September 2009
Feelings about the 2 chapter
Hey guys,
you want to know how i felt in chapter 2, you'll get these information right by now!
I told you that my mother is thirty-two and so you can imagine that it sucks when even your friends find your mother hot !!(for example my friend Rabbit)
Maybe my friends just like me because of my good lookind mother!
Mhh,anyway there were other things that stressed me more !!
For example that I have an absolutly "noob" family !
It is my aim to be different than the other persons of my family! I want to break the pattern and I was very proud that Mrs Gillett asked me whether I want to do art and design at college!
I could imagine being famous will bring many new friends.Besides I could enjoy my life.
A girl my mom likes??That's strange, isn't it ?
I want to pick my girlfriend on my own but maybe she knows that I'm a bit shy and not really good in things like that! But then again what could i lose? So I went with my mom to this party !(it was the party of Alicas mom)
When I saw her the first time, I was very surprised because she was so gorgeous! The problem was that she knew it, and thought she can treat people like dirt. I didin't want her to do this with me!!
This moment was great! It was the first time that I said what I thought!
you want to know how i felt in chapter 2, you'll get these information right by now!
I told you that my mother is thirty-two and so you can imagine that it sucks when even your friends find your mother hot !!(for example my friend Rabbit)
Maybe my friends just like me because of my good lookind mother!
Mhh,anyway there were other things that stressed me more !!
For example that I have an absolutly "noob" family !
It is my aim to be different than the other persons of my family! I want to break the pattern and I was very proud that Mrs Gillett asked me whether I want to do art and design at college!
I could imagine being famous will bring many new friends.Besides I could enjoy my life.
However I'm too bad and uncool to live this dream! And I don't think that an unwanted baby ever has the chance to do something out of his life !!
On another day my mom wanted me to come with here to a party to met a girl called Alica. It is obvious that she likes her. I 'd never pick a girl my mother collected for me!A girl my mom likes??That's strange, isn't it ?
I want to pick my girlfriend on my own but maybe she knows that I'm a bit shy and not really good in things like that! But then again what could i lose? So I went with my mom to this party !(it was the party of Alicas mom)
When I saw her the first time, I was very surprised because she was so gorgeous! The problem was that she knew it, and thought she can treat people like dirt. I didin't want her to do this with me!!
This moment was great! It was the first time that I said what I thought!
In these seconds I was the proudest man on earth. After 10 minutes Alica came back to me,took my hand and asked me whether we could start a new conversation !We talked and talked and suddenly i was getting butterflies, i never could imagine how it felt !And then i knew it, it was beautiful feeling and so new for me!We also talked about sex and that Alica and her Ex split up because she didn't want to have sex with him!
It was interesting to hear the opinion of a girl concerning this issue!(because I just spoke with my skate-friends about sex)And i have to say that I had some fancys she started to get undressed or things like that! At one o'clock my mom and I left the party and I was really confused.Suddenly Alica came running to me and gave me a postcard. I was suprised and very happy because I forgot to ask her for her phone number!However I had luck and she wrote down her mobile number.
At the next day I tried to talk with my friends about Alica but it didn´t work because you can't talk to Rabbit ! So I went to TH and talked to him, because he was the only one who understood me !The last thing I want you to inform about is my first date with Alica at the cinema !We were at the cinema but we didn´t watch the film,we just talked and listened to each other !After this we went home to Alica and into her bedroom.There we talked one more time about sex and condoms and how longer we talked about it I got a clearer view why she wanted to have sex with me at once!Because she wants to show her Ex that it was a fault to left her and so she had sex with somebody else to tell him that she lost her virginity!That's the reason why she went in the bedroom of her parents and stole a condom! Another hind was that she said "We haven't got forever". Nobody would say this while having sex with somebody! So if I slept with her there would always be me,her and him and I wanted to wait till he is away! I had no chance because Alica wanted to have sex with me and when I wanted to go she cried! This evening I had sex for the first time sex with a girl and I could not explane why! I decided not to have sex with her but I'm just a man!She is a very hot girl and for the first time it was very good (:D)
That´s it, thank you for your consideration !
Sammy
It was interesting to hear the opinion of a girl concerning this issue!(because I just spoke with my skate-friends about sex)And i have to say that I had some fancys she started to get undressed or things like that! At one o'clock my mom and I left the party and I was really confused.Suddenly Alica came running to me and gave me a postcard. I was suprised and very happy because I forgot to ask her for her phone number!However I had luck and she wrote down her mobile number.
At the next day I tried to talk with my friends about Alica but it didn´t work because you can't talk to Rabbit ! So I went to TH and talked to him, because he was the only one who understood me !The last thing I want you to inform about is my first date with Alica at the cinema !We were at the cinema but we didn´t watch the film,we just talked and listened to each other !After this we went home to Alica and into her bedroom.There we talked one more time about sex and condoms and how longer we talked about it I got a clearer view why she wanted to have sex with me at once!Because she wants to show her Ex that it was a fault to left her and so she had sex with somebody else to tell him that she lost her virginity!That's the reason why she went in the bedroom of her parents and stole a condom! Another hind was that she said "We haven't got forever". Nobody would say this while having sex with somebody! So if I slept with her there would always be me,her and him and I wanted to wait till he is away! I had no chance because Alica wanted to have sex with me and when I wanted to go she cried! This evening I had sex for the first time sex with a girl and I could not explane why! I decided not to have sex with her but I'm just a man!She is a very hot girl and for the first time it was very good (:D)
That´s it, thank you for your consideration !
Sammy
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