Nothing changed....

Heyho..
Here in Hastings nothing changed.Mr Brady gives me 20 quid a day and so I can live here.However one night Mr Brady knocked on my door at four o'clock to help him, I was sure that my "new" Al Quaida family couln't be worst!I wanted back home!It wasn´t like homesickness NOOOO I just looked which situation is better... both situations were horrible but one was better than the other..you know what I mean!Yeah, ok even if I would never add it, my mom is very important for me and I often miss my dad.That's childish I know but it's easier to be a child beacause you are allowed to make faults without being punished for your whole life!Anyway I went back at home with diffrent feelings..Was it right to leave Hastings?Will I be able to managed this situation with IT ?Do I love Alica?and I hoped that my mom wasn't so sad that I was away!Silly ,of cause she worried about me, which mother doesn't?Besides I wished that all problems are away!!But at home it was all the same and mom didn't know why I was away.And than I knew it,nobody could break my problems aside from me!!On the one hand it was good to know how I get out of this situation but on the other hand I don't want (or better can't) help myself because I'm too coward and have a bad self-confidence!Who could help me my mom....Alica....Rabbit...or at least TH ?
Pray for me!
Sammy

Five Al Qaida waiting around the corner !!

After I woke up I was sooo happy to be back but after I calm down,I realized that the present was as bad as the future...Yesterday I told you that Hastings was an alternative and you could maybe imagine that this was the next step to get out of My Life.Yeah it's silly and the situation would't be better but I had no other ideas.I let my pregnant (Ex)-girlfriend at home and run away..that's odd unfair and coward but for ME in this current situation, it was the best! At first view,when I arrived in Hastings,I saw a little boy playing golf with his family...without having any troules!Why could my life doesn't be the same!?Should I be punished my whole life because of one fault!?In these moments I could't answer these questions,but I want to be as happy as the little boy! All in all I want to be him, just untroubled!):.....To be a little more free,I threw my mobile phone as far into the water as I could!Perhaps it helped me to think about my future or just because I ever want to throw a mobile phone into the sea (:D).After I chilled two hours I noticed that I need a job to live in Hastings..I asked and asked and finally an old unkind man offered me a job as his personal "darkie"...When I met him the first time he said:"Hey young lady", and other stupid comments!This resulted in the following question: Which effect do I have on other people???Am I such a "pussay"!?Err...I don't want to have a answer on this(:D)Back to the main point,momentarily Hastings is a good place to hide, I had a job and nobody who bother me !!
See you soon.. Sammy :)

Was it a dream or the future ?

Hey fans(:D),
Today you come to know something about my crazy dream and what my feelings in these days were...First I thought that Alica and I got reconciled because I lied in her bed but when I saw her, I wished I could cry because she was much fatter!!I was shocked and after MY BABY cried I was so confused that I could't say something !What would you do in this situation!?OK, maybe you don't have sex with your girlfriend or even don't have one and you maybe don't know that YOU GET a Baby.....yeah ok my situation is very strange and no NORMAL teenager is in this difficult position when he's 15!You see the point(?), that's my problem, even I don't know what to do because I'M A TEENAGER TOO!!Therefore I went to Hastings,life sucks my future too...and NOBODY can help me.The only thing I liked in my dream was the black girl in the ladies' toilet! I just called it the NAPPY-Story! You maybe think:"How could a guy like Sam ,who likes skating,be interessted in Changing the Nappies :D",BUTTTTTTTTTT it was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen.Besides when the little baby smiles all smells are unforgotten!!However this unusual, great situation didn't let me forget that a HORRIBLE life is waiting for me in the present and after I saw what will happen in future, both things make me sad!!When I'm back in the present I must change something !! Hastings is an alternative!!


In every post you want to know something about my feelings and now I want to know your feelings about my post! ;)
I'm pleased to hear(read) from you !!!
Sammy :)