Nothing changed....

Heyho..
Here in Hastings nothing changed.Mr Brady gives me 20 quid a day and so I can live here.However one night Mr Brady knocked on my door at four o'clock to help him, I was sure that my "new" Al Quaida family couln't be worst!I wanted back home!It wasn´t like homesickness NOOOO I just looked which situation is better... both situations were horrible but one was better than the other..you know what I mean!Yeah, ok even if I would never add it, my mom is very important for me and I often miss my dad.That's childish I know but it's easier to be a child beacause you are allowed to make faults without being punished for your whole life!Anyway I went back at home with diffrent feelings..Was it right to leave Hastings?Will I be able to managed this situation with IT ?Do I love Alica?and I hoped that my mom wasn't so sad that I was away!Silly ,of cause she worried about me, which mother doesn't?Besides I wished that all problems are away!!But at home it was all the same and mom didn't know why I was away.And than I knew it,nobody could break my problems aside from me!!On the one hand it was good to know how I get out of this situation but on the other hand I don't want (or better can't) help myself because I'm too coward and have a bad self-confidence!Who could help me my mom....Alica....Rabbit...or at least TH ?
Pray for me!
Sammy