Yes we can !!

Hey guys, this will be the last blog for you....and that is going to make me very sad.It was of course a lot of work but it pays off!!The last chapter was different like the others!Everybody was happy,healthy and good looking(<--- especially my girlfriend!!:D)Besides it was the third "whizz" into the future and this time I did not have any questions.I just enjoyed the situation and it was the first moment in my life where I tought that it will turn out all right!But their was one thing, which mad me SAD!I got to know that I gave up skating.How could I live without my board??However after 2 minutes with Alex I knew it!She was and definitely is so goregeous, lovly and so sexy!Furthermore I knew that there is a lot of work to do,but with my friends( Alicia belongs to them),my family(Mom,Emily AND Dad)and my beautiful girlfriend!:)....we can do it!And guys,you know that I promised myself not to have sex with an other girl..this veto is rescinded(:D).Last but not least THANK YOU TH,without your support I would never be the person who I am!!!Now I try to manage my life without any help,but you will always have a place in my heart ! :)......
Sammy:)

It's the best to be true !

Chapter 19 was like a sum to give you some extra information about my life and my family.Emily was born in the same hospital as Roof.Mom and Mark are still a couple... and you could see how relieved they were after Emily was born.However Mark joked about the age of Emily,because she was only5 minutes old and she's got already a nephew who is older than her.My mom couldn't laugh about Mark's joke and tried not to be angry.After this we talked about our family constellation and I became aware that it's my mother's earning that I get to the person who I am today.This fact made me happy and guys... she did not make a bad job,did she (:P)?I was asked,how it goes with Alicia.Yeah,the realtionship to her was and will always be very difficult!To be honest I slept with her again,but not because I love her!Alicia was just so sexy and the drive was too big!Of course Andrea got wind of this.OK,I must say that we did it in her brother's bed!(:D)Afterwards I've got more problems than before,like every time I had have sex!First Andrea came in and was very angry and secondly I thought that Alicia still loves me (>.<)!Andrea,Alicia and I talked about the event and I was just honest.The first time I told the truth and told Alicia that I didn´t love her,in a way she could absorb it !The last interesting thing I want to explain you is the following.You know,that I gave my life marks out of ten and it was "just" a three.The reason is,that I really manage everything with Roof OK up to good but how can I give marks for my life?I do not have a personal life.Sam Jones is a person who has to care for so many things.There is no place for MY life !And when my son is 16 and I do not know what to do in my free time ,I am sure there is a lot to look after!
Sammy :)


Without words...

It is a long way to be "real" parents...

Hey guys,you all have direct access to the internet and know what you can do their!In my case I looked for information about other couples who are 16 and have a baby...I thought that my life is really messed up,but the things I read there were very sad and horrible!No money,no work the parents chuck them out and say "Live your own life,with your new family"!Another scary fact was that eighty per cent of teenage fathers lose touch with their kids!!OMG,how could that be ??Maybe there are boys, who do not want to admit to their babys... but the rest!?I read an other article about the child custody and in the majority of cases the mothers get the baby!So if I want to stay in touch with Roof,I must be nice to Alicia(??).You see I am worried about this issue... and because of that I went to Alicia to talk with her about Roof.(In the last 2 month their was anyway no other thing to talk about)The mother of my son was very agressiv and bearish and I felt that this conversation would not have a good ending for me (:D)!!After Alicia came out of the bathroom ,she imputed me sleeping with an other girl.Besides she shouted at me that I could forget Roof and will automatically lose touch with my son. I did not give her any hint to think about such a shit and now I will lose Roof because of my crazy ex-girlfriend?!Why should I do this?(I promised myself that I would not sleep with someone else in the next time)However, Andrea came up,because Alicia screamed like a pig at the shambles(:D)and tried to hush her.20minutes later Alicia,Andrea and I sat in the kitchen...but I always thought about 2 things: Firstof all that I maybe will lose my son and secondly what a strange and scary girlfriend I have got.There were times I fancied her and I knew that the pregnancy really changed her but such a beast is definitely scary!These moments also showed me that it was the best to go home and keep distance from her!Back to the main point..Andrea explained us that being parents is more than change the nappys or feeding!"When Roof gets older their will be many moments where you want to run away or die or disappear....but you have to stay present for your child and give good advices....You both cannot give your child worldly wisdoms because you have no time for "Learn to live" and "Live to learn"!!!However you have Robert and me and of course Sam's mom and so it will work my dears",said Andrea!!You know that I don't really like Andrea but this convesation helped me to understand how "real" parents should be !!
Sammy :)

Dad,thank you for your support

I was very suprised when my dad asked me to go out.First I thought he just wanted to show me that you could get alcohol easier with a little child in a pram than without...but their was more.Before dad arrived I talked to TH and he told me sth. about his dead dad.In the pub,my dad and I started the conversation and I felt that he wanted to put something across to me.My dad reported about the time where I was this little teenager-baby.Thereafter he explained that they were in the end just brothers and sisters and were only focused on me.(If you read my last blog,you could see some similarities to dad's information).Afterwards he slowly got to the point, that I have no chance to live together with Alicia no matter who I am or with whom I have got a relationship.Furthermore I should not let me "kill" from my own baby!!At the beginning I did not get what he wanted to say to me and it really pissed me off.However,after a while I got it!!That was incredible, but my dad worried about me and hoped that my life would be better than his one.That made me feel better because I did not know this behaviour!!After I went home ,Alicia and I argued about little things like every day.Throughout the conversation with my dad ,he removed the scales from my eyes and helped me to have an objectiv view of my realationship with Alicia.This was an other reason why I left her room.Alicia thought that I went to my mom, because I had a cold and in my opinion it was the best not to change anything!Back home I missed Roof,just Roof!Besides I was really pissed off,because I did not have time for skating the last few weeks.That fact also showed me that I could only live for Roof or for Skating...and in this periode of my life Roof was all the world for me!!
See you soon
Sammy:)

Ps: This is a picture of my father with the pram! :)

Being a father...No Problem !

Chapter 16 starts exactly like the "whizz" into the future(p.86),but it was different and I liked this "new" version of the future!Really,that gave me new courage and showed me that my way could not be the worst!I knew that it would not be easy but could you say me one thing in my life, after I slept with Alicia ,which was easy(!??)Meanwhile I cope with Roof very well.By and by I learned what it meant to be a good father.That was the most positive aspect, but because of this little baby Alicia and I only were focused on him.We just talked with each other if something happened with Roof.Till this moment I could abide the situation, but the day I went to college messed everything up.What would you do if anybody argues that your son/daughter is not your own one.In my case this situation became real, but there were other facts bothering me. For example that I always hoped that Alicia wasn't pregnant and/or that this child would not be my one....This situation was not easy for me especially to accept that my life would mix up..and than a guy from my college came to me and explaned, that Roof was his son!Their was no other possibility to beat him up.After this,the common feelings came back and a part of me hoped again, that Roof was not my son.I faced Alicia with my thoughts(Afterwards it was definitely wrong),and she started crying like she always did if we had problems!That was horrible for me, because you could not discuss with her when she cryed.Maybe that was the aim of "crying" but it nerves!!Besides we talked about our perspectives in life.Alicia always wanted this "perfect family",with no problems.Just unrealistic stuff.Furthermore I regreted that I supported her thought about being a model!(that was years ago :D) We tried to eliminate our conflict and after many houres,too many houres,we were in peace again.
Tomorrow I will tell you something about my meeting with Dad and my way back home!
Sammy:)

Ps:That's a photo of my fight...it looks like a woman-bottom but it is mine... :D:D trust me

Why can't you say Daddy...?

I knew that Roof would not be perfect,like talking,running but I hoped I could do more things with this little baby!There is nothing I can undertake with him...for football he is too young, he can not go..so I do not get a real connection to Roof,that is definitely sad but true!Besides everybody wants that I plan for the future but I think let the future just happen,we will all see how it goes.However at the day I moved into Alicia's room it was ineluctable that she will get to know all my little "secrets" for example TH(obviously my biggest secret :D)And...yeah I am homesick,that is not normal for a 16 years old teenager but I am not content with this momentary situation!
Sammy :)

Jones=no perspective.....(!?)

Normally I should write something about my baby in the headline because he was born in this chapter but their were other things that bother me more.Ok,let's start at the beginning!Alicia was in labour and after they got worse we went into the hospital..but before we arrived their we sat 10houres in a taxi and I was really scared if we got a "bus-baby".Further 10 houres later Roof was their..suddenly I was a father ,I could always imagine the situation but in real it was more than words can say:)..My mom came too and talked with Alicia and asked here "mother-things"..and the strange situation was that Alicia explaned the things to my mom and not the other way round!In this moments I feel useless..it was ok that everybody was centred on Roof but wasn't this baby the reason that I could't live my life and weren't allowed to skate and now on the top nobody was intressed in me....That was and definitely is depressing...and you are the only one who knows it!With who should I talk...no one would understand me even you maybe can't..Back to the reason of my headline!Andrea argue with my mom about the second name of Roof!And what Andrea said hurt me ,really!!!I thought that she accept me and not see me like the description at page234 l.14-18 <-----From here perspective Jones are like bungler...ok Andrea I could discripe you too, but it is better for Roof if I do not say such things about his Second Grandma!...That's enough for today ^^
See you..
Sammy:)

Shut up Sam...

Hey guys,maybe you think:"What the hell should mean the headline of this blog"!Yeah...in chapter13 I find out many things which I knew before.However I could not say "Yes I know",because no one would trust me and it sounds very odd,doesn't it?They would laught at me, so it was the best to shut up and be Uri Gella (:D).An other strange experience was the talk with my mom about her and my baby.Do not laught that is not funny that I have got a pregnant Grandma...I'm sure that our family is the only on earth were this situation is real!!Can you imagine that your mom is pregnant when your wife is pregnant..Unthinkable,but you just know strange things from me don't you (:D).Besides I said to my mom that OUR kids could be friends and in this moment I really take it seriously!Finally you can say that this chapter was very odd,like my whole life but when Roof is born it will all work like a carm (I'm optimistic,I knew..)!Perhaps my better side(TH) will help me...we'll see..
Sammy :)

Whizzed again!

Yeah it's true,TH wanted to show me again the future..Why?I do not know.You could trust me at the beginning it was too much for me.I'll have a little sister.OK,normally it's strange because your mother is circa 40-50years old but my mom is in a good age to have a baby.So actually it isn't odd but for me it is !!Emily was great in the "future" so cute and nice!I'm reallly looking forwards to spend time with her when she is born!(Besides it was surprising for me that Mark lived with us in our house but it was so unspectacular that I didn't give some thoughts to such "little" things)I've learned from my first "WHIZZ",so I tried to focus on the main points!However one thing in the "future" mad me miserable.Alicia and I did not live together.On the one hand I was happy because I did not want to live with Alicia in her room,BUT in my real life I nearly cope with the whole situation an of course with Alicia.MAybe there would be some little little feelings for her.But why should I ty to life with Alicia together when I defenitely know that we will not life together and we will not be together anymore.Wants TH say this to me?....(1.)"Sam doesn't get involved with Alicia because you can't change the future...OR...(2.)"You see what happend if you doesn't change something.Hurry up and life with who and where you want. It's Your Life"!!! Yeah I take the second one!! I create my own life !!!!!
See you soon
Sammy:)

Thank's mom !

In this chapter I didn't feel so much.It was more than planning for the future.At on evening I ate with Alicia,Robert(the owner of Springfield nuclear reactor :D)and Andrea.Guys I can tell you I definitely know how Homer feels when he must go into Mr Burn's office.Alicia's house is nearly the same....Back to the main point,Alicia and I, actually Alicia,wants to life with me together in her house with her parents!At the moment her parents get this to know they weren't so happy.Both of them try to prevent it,but my girlfriend didn't change her mind!So Alicia,Robert and Andrea discuss that we should't sleep in one bed.What the hell,we had sex in this bed often times and now Alicia's parents want to forbid us slepping there together?That's funny,isn't it?Besides I've met Rubbish,and he showed me,without knowing it,what a perfect life he had!!!Back at home my mom tells me that Alicia's mom had called!(So I knew that my mom knew everything about Alicia's plans to share a flat with me).My mom said that this wasn't a good idea and after she named the reasons,I knew she was right !The question is,how could I tell Alicia that I don't watn to life with her together in her house?If you have a good answer,write it as a comment under my blog!
Sammy :)

List from the NCT-classes

1. I'm not free anymore!
2. be togehther with Alicia for my whole life!
3. I can't become what I want to,so I'm the same guy like everyone else in my family!
4. --->Bad job
5. --->Poverty!!
6. No free time !!
7. make sacrifices!(many many many many many....)
8. must be rationally!
9. childhood is over !!
10. taking responsibliliy!

Sammy :)

It's a new life, isn't it?

Chapter 10 was very exiting for me...especially the first-(new)kiss with Alicia,see my baby with the scan and of course the NCT-classes...but their were also reactions, I wasn't so glad to here from.You know the situation when you have a "new" girlfriend and at the first day in school everybody comes to you and says things like:"I've heard you've got a new girlfriend....."(you know what I mean). And all these positiv feedbacks from the pupils were in fall negativ,because in our society it's bad,irresponsible and beastly to get a baby with 16.All pupils (and people)know the situation from the media, but if they come in contact with it,the people run away like little childs form bees!(No Joke)...It's sad but this is the Reality!!Anyway.. there aren't just bad news.For example the "trip" to the hospitel,to look if OUR baby is ok!Really it was...amazing to see my baby swimming in Alicia(:D).At the way to the hospital I thought:"This little thing in Alicia's stomach couldn't make me smile,but IT could :)!!I'm 100% sure that you think"ohh.. what a softy".If I haven't seen it,Iwould agree you but this moment had a touch of being glad.Not like yeah I produced this baby but like how could I say this...see a little and healthy human in Alicia's stomach.Whenever I look at the photo from the scan I'm very happy and get a little bit nervous!Tomorrow I'll show you the list from the NCT-classes!
See you
Sammy :)

Ps: That's the photo of Our Baby :)

Does the baby wants to come on our world?

I know that the question at the top is definitely not the right thing to describe the situation, but it's easier for me to give the choice to (I/T)...to my baby!It's quite plain to me that this is bull shit because he/she comes ,if everything goes normal,without be asked whether Pierre-Luc wants to come on this cruel world.However,I hope this answer you the question whether I want to keep the baby! It's not like OMG I'm soo happy to be a father but...I slowly get along with this situation.Besides I have no other possibilities because Alicia wants this baby and I must accept it.You all know(if you read the book) that I grew up without a father at my side and so I see it like my duty to stay to my (SORRRRRY ALICIA) OUR baby!It's obviously the best to take resonsibility and to be sensible!!Otherwise I would't be better than my dad.And I had never forgiven him for what he did.So,Yes we keep the baby and try to do the best out of IT.

Sammy :)

Nothing changed....

Heyho..
Here in Hastings nothing changed.Mr Brady gives me 20 quid a day and so I can live here.However one night Mr Brady knocked on my door at four o'clock to help him, I was sure that my "new" Al Quaida family couln't be worst!I wanted back home!It wasn´t like homesickness NOOOO I just looked which situation is better... both situations were horrible but one was better than the other..you know what I mean!Yeah, ok even if I would never add it, my mom is very important for me and I often miss my dad.That's childish I know but it's easier to be a child beacause you are allowed to make faults without being punished for your whole life!Anyway I went back at home with diffrent feelings..Was it right to leave Hastings?Will I be able to managed this situation with IT ?Do I love Alica?and I hoped that my mom wasn't so sad that I was away!Silly ,of cause she worried about me, which mother doesn't?Besides I wished that all problems are away!!But at home it was all the same and mom didn't know why I was away.And than I knew it,nobody could break my problems aside from me!!On the one hand it was good to know how I get out of this situation but on the other hand I don't want (or better can't) help myself because I'm too coward and have a bad self-confidence!Who could help me my mom....Alica....Rabbit...or at least TH ?
Pray for me!
Sammy

Five Al Qaida waiting around the corner !!

After I woke up I was sooo happy to be back but after I calm down,I realized that the present was as bad as the future...Yesterday I told you that Hastings was an alternative and you could maybe imagine that this was the next step to get out of My Life.Yeah it's silly and the situation would't be better but I had no other ideas.I let my pregnant (Ex)-girlfriend at home and run away..that's odd unfair and coward but for ME in this current situation, it was the best! At first view,when I arrived in Hastings,I saw a little boy playing golf with his family...without having any troules!Why could my life doesn't be the same!?Should I be punished my whole life because of one fault!?In these moments I could't answer these questions,but I want to be as happy as the little boy! All in all I want to be him, just untroubled!):.....To be a little more free,I threw my mobile phone as far into the water as I could!Perhaps it helped me to think about my future or just because I ever want to throw a mobile phone into the sea (:D).After I chilled two hours I noticed that I need a job to live in Hastings..I asked and asked and finally an old unkind man offered me a job as his personal "darkie"...When I met him the first time he said:"Hey young lady", and other stupid comments!This resulted in the following question: Which effect do I have on other people???Am I such a "pussay"!?Err...I don't want to have a answer on this(:D)Back to the main point,momentarily Hastings is a good place to hide, I had a job and nobody who bother me !!
See you soon.. Sammy :)

Was it a dream or the future ?

Hey fans(:D),
Today you come to know something about my crazy dream and what my feelings in these days were...First I thought that Alica and I got reconciled because I lied in her bed but when I saw her, I wished I could cry because she was much fatter!!I was shocked and after MY BABY cried I was so confused that I could't say something !What would you do in this situation!?OK, maybe you don't have sex with your girlfriend or even don't have one and you maybe don't know that YOU GET a Baby.....yeah ok my situation is very strange and no NORMAL teenager is in this difficult position when he's 15!You see the point(?), that's my problem, even I don't know what to do because I'M A TEENAGER TOO!!Therefore I went to Hastings,life sucks my future too...and NOBODY can help me.The only thing I liked in my dream was the black girl in the ladies' toilet! I just called it the NAPPY-Story! You maybe think:"How could a guy like Sam ,who likes skating,be interessted in Changing the Nappies :D",BUTTTTTTTTTT it was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen.Besides when the little baby smiles all smells are unforgotten!!However this unusual, great situation didn't let me forget that a HORRIBLE life is waiting for me in the present and after I saw what will happen in future, both things make me sad!!When I'm back in the present I must change something !! Hastings is an alternative!!


In every post you want to know something about my feelings and now I want to know your feelings about my post! ;)
I'm pleased to hear(read) from you !!!
Sammy :)

What's about my future?

Hey dudes,
before I tell you how my feelings about my future are ,it's important to know that i feel terible !I'm a teenager but not a lovly father!What I did? In case of asking me whether I rued it...YES and I would do everything to make it unforgotten!!!However I can't change this situation. I try to do the best out off it, if this is possible!And I hope that my emotions for Alica come back,because I can not survive the following years without LOVE!Before saying you more I must get along with myself!And I mean MYSELF because TH isn't in my room anymore !!See you soon!..... Sammy

I love alica....I don't love Alica.. I love.......

Hey fans (:D)
Today I want to tell you something about my relationship with Alica!The first weeks were great and I enjoyed the time with her!(Also because of the sex),and I really thought that I "LOVE" her!!After 3 weeks I had another opinion!I get borded of Alica,because we just have sex and don't do something else. At the beginning this wasn't a problem for me because I was content just having sex!However, a relationship is more than sleeping with each other!You should help your partner if he/she has problems,respect your partner,support him/her and the most inportant thing is TALKING!!These very important things were missing in our relationship!It was onesided and I didin't know what to do !That was the reason why I didn't visit Alica every day because I hoped it would be better...
Another problem was,Alica wanted to control me,to give up skating mates, my whole "old" life !It was right, I wanted to have a girlfriend who sleeps with me but I also wanted living as well!Should I focus my whole life only on Alica !?NOO, that isn't my definition about life!!And she had to notice it!!Finally I played with the thought to break up !Although I could not leave her,MAYBE SHE WILL GET A BABY FROM ME AND I DON'T WANT THAT THIS CHILD HAS THE SAME DESTINY LIKE ME!!!What should I do ??? I talked to TH but he could't help me, too!
Sammy

Feelings about the 2 chapter

Hey guys,
you want to know how i felt in chapter 2, you'll get these information right by now!
I told you that my mother is thirty-two and so you can imagine that it sucks when even your friends find your mother hot !!(for example my friend Rabbit)
Maybe my friends just like me because of my good lookind mother!
Mhh,anyway there were other things that stressed me more !!
For example that I have an absolutly "noob" family !
It is my aim to be different than the other persons of my family! I want to break the pattern and I was very proud that Mrs Gillett asked me whether I want to do art and design at college!
I could imagine being famous will bring many new friends.Besides I could enjoy my life.

However I'm too bad and uncool to live this dream! And I don't think that an unwanted baby ever has the chance to do something out of his life !!

On another day my mom wanted me to come with here to a party to met a girl called Alica. It is obvious that she likes her. I 'd never pick a girl my mother collected for me!
A girl my mom likes??That's strange, isn't it ?
I want to pick my girlfriend on my own but maybe she knows that I'm a bit shy and not really good in things like that! But then again what could i lose? So I went with my mom to this party !(it was the party of Alicas mom)
When I saw her the first time, I was very surprised because she was so gorgeous! The problem was that she knew it, and thought she can treat people like dirt. I didin't want her to do this with me!!

This moment was great! It was the first time that I said what I thought!

In these seconds I was the proudest man on earth. After 10 minutes Alica came back to me,took my hand and asked me whether we could start a new conversation !We talked and talked and suddenly i was getting butterflies, i never could imagine how it felt !And then i knew it, it was beautiful feeling and so new for me!We also talked about sex and that Alica and her Ex split up because she didn't want to have sex with him!
It was interesting to hear the opinion of a girl concerning this issue!(because I just spoke with my skate-friends about sex)And i have to say that I had some fancys she started to get undressed or things like that! At one o'clock my mom and I left the party and I was really confused.Suddenly Alica came running to me and gave me a postcard. I was suprised and very happy because I forgot to ask her for her phone number!However I had luck and she wrote down her mobile number.
At the next day I tried to talk with my friends about Alica but it didn´t work because you can't talk to Rabbit ! So I went to TH and talked to him, because he was the only one who understood me !The last thing I want you to inform about is my first date with Alica at the cinema !We were at the cinema but we didn´t watch the film,we just talked and listened to each other !After this we went home to Alica and into her bedroom.There we talked one more time about sex and condoms and how longer we talked about it I got a clearer view why she wanted to have sex with me at once!Because she wants to show her Ex that it was a fault to left her and so she had sex with somebody else to tell him that she lost her virginity!That's the reason why she went in the bedroom of her parents and stole a condom! Another hind was that she said "We haven't got forever". Nobody would say this while having sex with somebody! So if I slept with her there would always be me,her and him and I wanted to wait till he is away! I had no chance because Alica wanted to have sex with me and when I wanted to go she cried! This evening I had sex for the first time sex with a girl and I could not explane why! I decided not to have sex with her but I'm just a man!She is a very hot girl and for the first time it was very good (:D)
That´s it, thank you for your consideration !
Sammy